Robbed of a Feeling
by Oola
Summary: You can't change a person Granger. The quality has to be in the person, if it's not active then at least dormant inside," he stared up through the window at the tear stained darkness. "So," he continued, "stop trying." Draco/Hermione
1. Pain of another

It was foggy, dark- I remember

It was foggy, dark- I remember. The wind blew a chill through your bones. It was

ironic really, taking into consideration that the most amazing event happened that day.

But then again that one amazing day turned the following ones into hell…so I

guess it makes sense. They cancel each other out: the amazing versus the horrible-it

would become a neutral. Really, if you think about it, I and he would make a neutral too,

that is if we were ever together. We would be considered neutral (or insane…that's

probably a better word to describe it) through everyone elses eyes- two polar opposites. I

would believe that too. I did until that day. I wish I still did. But life doesn't normally

play out that way.

I am a 17 year old in the middle of winter. My hat covers my bushy brown hair as

I decide to wander into the forest. My two best friend's names are Ronald Weasley and

Harry Potter. I'm sure you've heard of them, everyone else has. If you haven't, well then

now you have. If you never wanted to hear of them then I apologize, I just spoiled it for

you. You've probably heard of me too. I don't want to sound full of it but it's the truth.

People like to call us the 'Golden Trio.'- No this is not a band name though Ron has

insisted on creating one.

So basically to sum up, I am 17 years old, punished with wild bushy brown hair, I

have two close friends, I am extremely famous and I am going for a walk into the forest

in the middle of winter…alone.

To think.

I am accused of doing that way to much.

Everyone had gone to Hogsmeade, including Harry, Ron and Ginny (you'll hear

about her later.) A perfect time to get some distance, especially after all the attention I've

been getting lately. It wasn't the most pleasant weather…quite gloomy, but I've faced

worse, so such little things don't really bother me anymore.

I wore sneakers which wasn't really a smart choice for walking in 2 feet deep

snow in the middle of the forest- that's not really important so ignore that.

I had been walking for maybe 20 minutes when I saw him. Every curse

imaginable went through my bran just that second. My arch foe stood a few meters in

front of me, his back to me. Yes I know arch foe sounds corny, but hey, I'm muggle born

and I secretly idolize batman so it's okay.

He was standing in front of a tree with his wand doing something I couldn't see. I

tried to creep up quietly to sneak a peek. Naturally, like I said before, life doesn't work

that way. A twig snapped that sent him spinning towards the noise…being me.

"What the- oh…it's you," his eyes narrowed.

"Last time I checked."

"Last time I checked you were still an annoying know-it-all," he looked me up

and down. "Things haven't seemed to change much."

"What are you doing?"

"Like I'm about to tell you? You're funny."

"I try," I smiled, cheeky.

He rolled his eyes, turning back around.

Silence.

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Then leave."

"Not very social are you?"

"With your kind? No. I don't converse with mudbloods," his voice blank.

"I cannot believe you still resort to that."

"Oh-oh-I don't care," he said with fake enthusiasm.

Silence.

It was weird. He was usually quite talkative and abusive. He seemed to be lacking

his usual spark. It bothered me.

"Hey ferret!"

No answer.

"Ferret!"

No answer.

"Ferret?!"

Nothing.

The asshole was ignoring me.

So I did what first came to mind. I took out my wand mumbling, 'flipendo.'

It hit him right in the back making him fly backwards hitting the tree behind him.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" Rage filled his whole face, eyes blazing.

"I hate it when people ignore me."

Instantly his rage faded. Instead a smirk now formed on his lips. There's the old

attitude coming back.

"Well we wouldn't want that would we?" he said so quietly I had to lean in to

hear.

And then the next second he was in front of me- At least a head taller, pale skin,

with matching pale blonde hair, his hands holding mine over my head, pinning me up

again a tree. The bark of the tree scratched my back, because I had foolishly just taken a

sweater.

"Oh quit with the drama," I smirked casually, though in reality my heart was

pumping, hard. "I've had a bad day, can you just let me go."

This only made his smirk more pronounced, his eyes menacing, dancing with

amusement. "Well we wouldn't want to make it harder on you."

"Shut up, you don't know what crap I have to go through."

"What? Time table messed up? Got an E instead of an O in Potions? Weasley

dumped you again?" He laughed, sarcasm running through every word.

"Some of us have to deal with problems, not everyone has enough money to pay

off their problems you jack ass. Oh and we also don't murder our problems off. It's called

civility. Maybe you've heard of it."

All amusement left his features instantly, "I don't murder my problems. If that

were so you would have been gone 6 years ago."

"Oh, yeah that's right! You get your father to do it for you! Sorry I got that mixed

up. You just kill for pleasure, that's it."

"You shouldn't say things like that," voice soft, yet dangerous.

"What? Does that bother you? We all know you want to follow right into daddy's

foot steps. To join the club."

"I am not."

"Yeah, really? Then how do you describe your behavior? Hmm? Why do you do

it?" I laughed. I was on a roll. But then I saw it: The flicker in his eye and how they

penetrated me- pale grey eyes, staring right into me. I couldn't look away. They were so

beautiful. I had never noticed it before. There was just one slight flaw in them. They were

angry, furious. I pushed my back against the tree trying to get farther away from him. I

wanted to look away; still I couldn't tear my gaze away.

"You know nothing. Don't even try to pretend that you've lived it all." His voice

remained calm, serous. "Tell me. Have you ever loved someone? Loved someone so

much you would do anything to impress them? No matter how bad it was?" His voice

started to rise and he threw his hands away from me, turning his back as I stumbled. He

continued, "Just to be accepted? And no matter how friggin hard you tried you somehow

just get worse and worse?" Pause. His voice now a whisper. All the anger was gone. It

was just sad. "That no matter what, they never loved you back."

That was when he looked back at me thoughtfully. I stared into his eyes, and we

stood there. Just for a minute both taking in what had just happened. That was when his

eyes grew wide at what he had just revealed. Without another word he picked up his

wand which had fallen on the snow and walked away.

My legs shook, I suddenly felt weak. And soon, soon I would find out how that

feeling felt. The feelings that he felt would be mine.

Why? Because that was the day when I, Hermione Granger, first started falling in

love with him, Draco Malfoy.


	2. Welcome to my living hell

Welcome to my living hell.

So now I'm sitting in the great hall staring and drooling over a particular blonde haired boy who is simply unatainable to me. Yes slight depressed teenager here I know.

I was confused. That night, which had been about a month ago had changed my feelings towards him completely. I didn't know what to do, or how to act around him. It's not like his attitude towards me changed- I won't flatter myself- he hadn't ceased on insulting me. Actually they seemed to have increased their intensity. Usually I would have matched his insults with some of my own but now they seemed to get stuck in my throat, suffocating me. And then his eyes would stare at mine with such a penatrating force, as if they were questioning and observing my behavior. His 'friends' would then laugh at my pathetic form snapping him out of his trance and he would jion in with them.

"Er...Hermione?"

My head snapped up to the voice...a little bit too forcefully rewarding my with a sharp pain, I yelped.

Ron with his blazing red hair quickly squeezed in beside me our bodies touching while Harry took the seat opposite to me.

Harry chuckled, his black hari shaking with his movent, "It's just us Hermione. No need to give yourself whip lash."

I smiled, rolling my eyes, "Thanks for the advise."

"Anytime."

I felt a peice of chicken hit my cheek. Ron was eating a chicken leg like a starved dog, his teeth and tongue working at the led furiously.

"RON!"

He looked up from his meal, "What?"

"Can you manage to eat one meal like a decent human being for once in your life?"

"I'm a growing man!"

"Yeah? Which way?" I mumbled under my breath. He didn't seem to hear me as he went back to eating his chicken, but I earned a laugh from Harry.

"So anyways Herms, what were you staring at so intently when we came?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "You were drooling."

"Shut up Ron."

"Shutting."

I grinned and then lied, "Oh I was just thinking about tomorrows essay from Snape."

"WE HAVE AN ESSAY!!" Both boys yelled at the same time. Harry's eyes flew wide open while Ron fell of his chair.

I rolled my eyes and reached to help myself to some ceasar salad, but was caught in mid motion as a voice from the other side of the hall called. It seemed that our conversation had been watched.

"Whatch out there Weaselbee. You don't want to have an awful scar like scarhead here do you?"

Malfoy. Malfoy sneering. Malfoy sneering bitterly. Malfoy sneering bitterly and then laughing...a gorgeous laugh that matched is gorgeous good looks...HOLD IT!!

No no no no no... bad hermione! Get your hormones under control!

"Shut you face Malfoy!!" Ron seemed to have recovered from his fall and stomped right up to Malfoy glaring in his face. Ron was tall and was atleast a head taller than Malfoy, yet still Malfoy looked more menacing and intimidating.

He showed his famous smirk, "You know I think I will. I don't need to even open my mouth to express how low you are. You do too well yourself already."

Ron's ears turned bright red. Harry stepped up, "I like that idea Malfoy. So why don't you just run away and laugh about it to your little slytherin friends."

"Don't need to. They're right here."

"Don't flatter yourself Malfoy. I was being sarcastic. You don't actually have any friends. At least Ron will always have those who are loyal to him and will always stick up for him."

"Yeah?" Malfoy challenged. "What about Granger here? Granger don't you agree that Weasel is the lowest piece of dirt that should be overjoyed that people such as myself have to atleact touch him to walk all over him?"

Alll eyes went to me. Harry was already smiling triumphly expecting me to come up with my usual witty comeback. Only when the seconds ticked by did I see a confused frown form on his face.

"Er..I.." I struggled to say something though my mind was yelling _NO NO NO! Ron is an amazing friend and I will always be there for him!! _But that never came out. I just kept sitting there dumb struck.

Ron turned to face me, "Hermione?" When he saw that nothing was coming out his face fell.

Malfoy saw this and his smirk became more pronounced. "It seemed that the Golden Trio has found some issues. I better not disturb this." And with that he turned around, his cloak whipping behind him as he proceeded out of the great hall. Not before he did hid usual looking me over though of course, which sadly both Harry and Ron did not miss. Great! More Gasoline to add to the fire.

"Hermione...what was THAT!?" Harry turned on me when Malfoy and the slytherins left the Hall.

"I'm sorry...I-I got...I don't know. I was surprised. It was so sudden."

"So you could say anything?? Not even a no?" Ron asked quietly his face hurt.

"I couldn't- it all just wouldn't come out."

"I don't know..."Harry sighed, eyeing me suspiciously. "You've been acting wierd lately."

"Yeah, everytime you're around that git!"

"I guess I'm just stressed."

"Stressed means that you can't stick up for your friends?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"No! No it's just-"

"Hermione what's going on! Are you hiding something from us? Did you do something?" Ron interjected.

Now it was my turn to be shocked as what he was asking clicked in.

"NO!! Oh god no Ronald. I would never do something like that with that prat."

"Then what happened?"

I couldn't say. I couldn't tell them. How would they take it? What would they say if I had told them that I had developed feelings for the git. He was a git. He knew that lately I wasn't being myself and he took advantage of that. Anger boiled through me. Who did he think he was?? So he could just take advantage of me??

And then I smiled bitterly at my two friends. "Don't worry. I'll deal with him guys. I'm sorry. I've just been in a little bit of a slump lately. Don't worry. I still have some of my anger from third year."

This seemed to make them feel better as they grinned sharing the memmory of me punching him in our third year.

Still Harry looked worried, "are you sure you're fine?"

I smiled, "Never been better"..._I hope._

**Yeah I'm not 100 sure where this going but we'll see. I just wanted to experiment with a dramonie story. I'll try to update more frequenlty. Could please review? that would help a lot. **

**Thanks**


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